RECIPE! "Eggsestential" Chicken Salad

THIS RECIPE NEEDS a better name, perhaps, but my uncle's sarcastic moniker has stuck since no one else in my family has come up with anything better. Chicken-less Chicken Salad? A bit obvious, not to mention redundant. Egg salad? Not by any definition of the stuff. So, like it or not, "Eggsestential" Chicken Salad it is for now.

This recipe is also the first in what will hopefully be a growing list of work-friendly meals, as in: make it the night before, bring the leftovers along for lunch the following day. It's all part of my attempt to save some cash and eat well. An actual written recipe for this creation has never existed, so the following is a list of improvised ingredients inspired from the fashion in which my mother has previously combined them, or those like them:

3-4 cups cooked rice
4 hard-boiled egg whites
3 plum tomatoes
1 head of broccoli
1 shallot
1/2 cup chopped, cooked tempeh
1/2 cup grated cheddar cheese
+ 1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1/2 cup dijon Nayonaise
1/4 cup of olives
Fresh basil, chopped
Salt & pepper

Chop well tomatoes (remove seeds), broccoli (cooked, if desired), shallot, and olives; cook tempeh and chop into small pieces; grate cheese. Set all aside. Cook rice (Note: About 1 1/2 cups uncooked rice yielded more than enough for this recipe). Mix rice and all ingredients in large bowl. Add Nayonaise and stir well, adding more if needed. Wash and chop a small handful basil leaves; mix in and season to tase. Serve on a roll, sliced bread, or whatever-- hot or cold.

Easy (if somewhat time-consuming) to make, and delicious warm or cold, it's a great recipe to take to work, a picnic, a barbecue, etc. Using Nayonaise, a soy-based mayo, keeps the nutrition level leaning towards healthy, although the cheese and (when fried) tempeh threaten to spoil the effort. Perhaps I'll work on a non-fried way to cook the tempeh.

Feel free to improvise this list. The basil was used mostly because we have some growing in the kitchen (which was an amazingly sweet inclusion). If making to be consumed by a crowd in one sitting, I would probably include avocado. Pistachios or celery would add some crunch. Using the hard-boiled egg yolks would probably create a more savory flavor; plain Nayonaise and honey, a sweeter one. Enjoy!

Siggy's Good Food? Nope, It's Great!

Relish
225 Wythe Avenue
Brooklyn, NY 11211
(718) 963-4546
www.relish.com

Siggy's Good Food
76 Henry Street
Brooklyn, NY 11201
(718) 237-3199

HARD TO BELIEVE my first trip to Relish in quite some time would be overshadowed by a hole-in-the-wall organic kitchen in downtown Brooklyn, but that's the truth, people. And that's not to say the always-impeccable Relish wasn't up to expectations--Siggy's just flat out surprised us.

The Relish trip was decided-upon quite by accident. Jane, visiting for a birthday weekend, had only two simple requests for brunch: to sit outside and order off a menu that didn't bestow ridiculous names on its food. Is there a better Williamsburg option meeting that pair of demands? I think not. So, much to the chagrin of Mint who was working on a her usual day off, Sunday, it was off to the depths of Wythe Avenue.

Sunday brunch is better in the backyard at Relish

The beauty of Relish is always its menu of simple, delicious fare presented without pretense in neighborhood that quite literally thrives on pretense. My huevos rancheros were excellently cooked and the tortillas below still crunchy, somehow entirely unaffected by the pile of rice and beans piled upon them; the side of veggie sausage, while tasty, could certainly have been of larger quantity. Meanwhile, Jane was much pleased with her chicken sandwich. Best of all, though, was the towering Bloody Mary I received from the bar, thick, just a touch too spicy, and refreshingly cold on a warm afternoon.

After a visit to see Steph tending bar up at Dive 75 on a suspiciously slow Sunday, and after a game of Scrabble, quite a few bowls of chocolate candy, and a remarkable comeback by the US to dispatch Mexico 2-1 and win the Gold Cup, Jane set off across Central Park to find her way back to Murray Hill, while I set off to take the 2 train back into Brooklyn.

Meeting Mint off Montague Street in Brooklyn Heights, we surveyed our usual options and decided, instead, to set off down Henry Street in search of something different. We came across Siggy's Good Food and were coxed inside by the adorable gray cat standing sentinel outside in spite of our apprehensions about Siggy's cozy, non-air conditioned interior.

Siggy's was refreshing nonetheless, a bottle of beer and fresh ginger-mint lemonade for Mint and I saw to that. The food, best of all, was not your typical vegan/vegetarian variety, as we had feared, focusing on organic offerings prepared with infinitely more touch and experience than many like-minded establishments. Mint's tofu, broccoli and soba noodles in Szechuan sauce, an overdone staple at many veggie friendly joints, was remarkably light, with all the flavor of soy sauce and spices without becoming too salty or overpowering the tofu, which was cooked very, very well.

Spotting macaroni and cheese on the menu I could do little else but order it, and so also chose a lentil garlic soup to start. The soup was wonderful, no real surprises, but the macaroni and cheese had to be the best I've ordered out anywhere in the City. Whole grain spelt pasta was an excellent, hearty choice paired with the tangy, organic blend of cheeses, and together the duo was gooey, sticky, satisfying, or try this: everything you look for in comfort food. Though, while at $6.95 (technically, it's a starter dish) the mac n' cheese is a pretty great value, I'm fairly sure its nutritionally void. You win some, you lose some.

Don't that just look delicious?

So, sorry, Relish, but you got shown up by some creative kids downtown. It's not that the food there was better, it was just that much more unexpected. When the stellar becomes status quo, surprises are just that much more surprising. Anyways, Mint is anxious for her first visit to your shimmery dining car quarters, so, no worries, you'll get your chance to shine for MEF! some evening soon. You just better hope we don't first go to Siggy's for brunch.

MIKE EATS NEXT TIME: Absolutely, on both counts.

RECIPE! Almond-Crusted Tofu with Mixed Greens

MINT SIGNED UP for a handful of free magazine subscriptions almost a year ago. When the "free" period ran out, she cancelled them. The magazines, however, continued to show up at her dad's doorstep. Upon investigating, Mint found no unusual deductions on her credit card, but she also couldn't find any reason she should be still receiving the magazines. And so we've shrugged and put up with random copies of Self and Glamor popping up from time to time.

(Note: this is an entirely different set of confusing circumstances from the ones that have conspired to deliver Sports Illustrated Latino and fliers for Playboy TV en Espanol on my own doorstep.)

The magazines, or at least one of them, were finally put to use this evening. Mint chanced across a recipe that sounded good, and so I was exiled to the living room while she went about creating it. Now, Mint's preference for cooking solo is the result of both a) wanting the meal to be a surprise, and b) due to the fact that I'm a total jerk in the kitchen if I'm not the one cooking, but it ultimately means that I have no pictures of the how-to, which reads something as follows.:

1/4 cup Kikkoman Teriyaki Marinade
& Sauce
1/4 cup olive oil
2 tbsp honey
2 tbsp vinegar
1 tsp freshly-grated orange peel

1 package tofu
1 egg
1 tbsp Kikkoman Teriyaki Marinade & Sauce
1/2 cup flour
1/2 cup Kikkoman Panko Bread Crumbs
1/2 almonds, chopped
2-3 tbsp veggie oil
6 cups mixed salad greens
2 oranges, peeled and separated

To make dressing, whisk together teriyaki sauce, olive oil, honey, vinegar, and orange peel. Reserve in bowl. Slice tofu into 1/2-inch cutlets; season with pepper. In shallow bowl, beat egg with teriyaki sauce until well blended. Place flour in a shallow dish; combine bread crumbs in another shallow dish. Dust both sides of tofu with flour, then dip into egg mixture, and finally coat with almond mixture. In 12-inch skillet, heat 2 tbsp veggie oil over medium-high heat. Add tofu and cook 4-5 minutes, or until golden brown, adding oil as needed. Arrange tofu cutlets on mixed greens with orange slices. Serve with orange-teriyaki-honey dressing.

A faithful reinvention!

Examining the magazine photos, you might notice this recipe has been adapted to use tofu instead of chicken. Examine a little bit closer (or, hell, just read the above list of ingredients), and you'll notice this recipe was actually an advertisement for Kikkoman. I'd say they did a pretty good job, since Mint purchased not only the Teriyaki Marinade but also the recommended Kikkoman-brand bread crumbs. Well done, marketing department. Well done. Only, Mint foiled your evil plot with the chicken farmers by switching to tofu! Ha! How does bitter defeat taste, chicken farmers? From over here, I'd say it tastes pretty good.

Mint also purchased one pint of Tofutti vanilla ice cream, which is not an ingredient in almond-crusted tofu, but is most certainly an ingredient in root beer floats. Of course, I would be remiss if I did not mention that making said root beer floats was inspired by an A&W commercial. Children of the marketing age, unite! Your root beer floats await! And they're delicious.

Dinner And A Movie: Counter & "Hot Fuzz"

Counter
105 First Avenue
New York, NY 10003
(212) 982-5870
www.counternyc.com

FIRST OF ALL, "Hot Fuzz" is the best movie I've seen since "Children Of Men," which was only a few months ago, I know, but I've seen a lot of great movies lately so let's not get too picky. From the master-creators of "Shaun Of The Dead," this cop movie send-up features one of the single funniest moments I have ever seen committed to film: an old woman getting flying-kicked in the face.

Now, Mom, before you yell at me, this woman is trying to shoot the film's hero with a shotgun and she's also responsible for the deaths of several other innocent people. She has it coming. Fast. And jumping through the air into her face. It's hilarious! And she's okay afterwards, she just goes to jail. I'm not ruining anything, I promise. I'm sorry, did you say, "decaffeinated?"

Aaron S. Hitchcock has a great take on this film also. You would all do well to read it and then buy up all of his artwork. It's good artwork and will appreciate in value at approximately 6% annually. Not a bad rate, I'd say.

After the film, Mint and I attempted to go to the Organic Grill since she was in the mood for vegan food (not a mood one is frequently "in" if one is not vegan, I assure you), but the two women working at the Grill informed us they were closed... twenty minutes before the sign on the door said they were so they could get home early. Which brings us to this very important announcement:

The Official Mike Eats Food! Boycott of Organic Grill is now at Day 1!

With two whole exclamation points, Organic Grill now joins the ranks of other such boycott-worthy establishments including the Pinnacle Deli on Third Avenue (for charging $0.10 to toast a bagel), Wasabi on Manhattan Avenue (for not being Sapporo Haru), and MacDonald's everywhere (for ruining modern civilization). Congratulations, jerks! I even started a Citysearch account to tell everyone how much you suck!

And so we ended up at Counter.

Looks fancy, costs fancy

Mint had the meatloaf special (made with house-made seitan) with an order of Counter's enormous hand-cut pommes frites (note: you know you're paying to much for french fries when you have to italicize them in print), and I enjoyed the hearty, pesto-tastic soup au pistou and the East Side Burger made from light mushroom pate and seitan.

Everything was delicious and the wine selection was fantastic, but my main concern with Counter is that vegan food isn't necessarily its greatest as haute cuisine. I mean, this is the food of hippies and neo-socialists, folks with no money and no jobs. Seventeen bucks for an entree isn't exactly keeping to the budget, let alone the spirit of saving the world through food. That doesn't mean creating accomplished seitan doesn't require a four-star chef (double negative!). So, the anti-establishment needs an well-established one to do things properly? That's the kind of oxymoron that makes Counter's take on vegan cuisine ultimately confusing.

MIKE EATS NEXT TIME: I probably wouldn't, but the East Village is running short on organic options... eh, Organic Grill? I anxiously await your apology.

Photos from Rouge Pictures and Counter/Organic Wine Journal

Mike Eats Greenpoint, Volume 1: *erb & Hana Foods

*erb Thai Restaurant
681 Manhattan Avenue
(b/t Bedford & Norman)
Brooklyn, NY 11222
718-349-8215

Hana Foods
534 Metropolitan Avenue
(b/t Lorimer & Union)
Brooklyn, NY 11211
718-218-7747

BEHOLD! TWO STAPLES of the Williamsburg-Greenpoint diet. One is consistently good, reasonably priced Thai food, and the other simply must be considered one of the greatest delis in all the five boroughs.

First, it's hard to be disappointed with *erb on any account. Yes, they suffer from occasional menu and service inconsistencies as any neighborhood take-out favorite does to from time to time. You'll get over it.

Recommended are the noodle dishes ($7.95, with tofu, chicken or beef.), especially the Curry Noodles--a huge bowl of spicy curry loaded with thin noodles, veggies, and big triangle wedges of tofu. Lots of interesting appetizers are also big draws. The crispy chive pancakes are frequently sold out. The Taro Crunch is big chunks of fried taro root with peanuts.And the Tofu Crisp is a pile of fried tofu best enjoyed quickly on premises rather than soggy upon delivery.

Next is Hana Foods, a veritable Williamsburg institution serving as a 24-hour deli, flower shop, a specialty/organic food mart, and home to Omar's overwhelmingly extensive board of sandwiches. As a kicker, most everything can be made with (and, honestly, is probably better as) vegetarian and vegan options.

The Godfather is a huge hero of Italian meats that will suffice for two meals; the vegan meatball sub is a more-than-worthy stand-in for its carnivorous cousin; the breaded eggplant, chicken, and tofu cutlets are superb; and the Veggie Reuben (a veggie burger chopped and grilled like corned beef and smashed between rye toast with hot sauerkraut and melting Swiss) is one of the most creative vegetarian sandwiches I've ever eaten.

Best of all, Hana will deliver them (and anything in its store) to your doorstep 24 hours a day (NOTE: their menu is hard to find complete online, so get yourself a full one form the store itself). Williamsburg is prime delivery area, but even nearby Greenpointers can coax a delivery guy out on a slow night.

MIKE EATS NEXT TIME: Yes, he does. Many, many times.